They are not trying to rekindle the relationship or become friends. Getting back together with an ex years later is possible. Until you reach 41 weeks, your provider may not do anything unless there are problems. You already have a family to take care of. PostedMay 1, 2020 When you know why he or she reached out, youll be able to decide whether talking to your ex is even a good idea. I wished him well too. Ignore it. My ex reached out to me about 15 years after we broke up. But they happen anyway., and you are left with no other choice than to face the aftermath. However, your ex might also be reaching out because they want closure, because they want to be friends, or because they just want to hook up one last time. Since you can never really know why they contacted you, you shouldnt make assumptions about anything. No one says you need to entertain them. But that alone wont help you gain closure. Here are five things to do when your ex reaches out after years. Last Updated on October 11, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. If you just went on a date and he responds 3 days after, he might be following an old dating rule to make you more interested in him. Very random in his message he stated that it was crazy for reaching out and that Ive always been brought up in conversion by school mates and that hes sorry if he negatively impacted me and hes always wishing the best for me and hes never forgot me. My ex had these things to say to me after our relationship had ended over five years earlier. This reminds us that whatever the threat is that were facing, it can be overcome. In my last relationship, I left the guy to be with my now husband. Of course, as a dumpee, you might not have to stay your exs backup plan forever. Advertisement. About App. I think he feels very alone in life right now and he reached out because he saw I was connected to his sister on social media. QueasyAllday 1 yr. ago ouch TX_Farmer I sent an ex a sincere apology letter. The X-Men timeline desperately needed to sync up at one point, and 2014's "X-Men: Days of Future Past" was the vehicle that helped mash together the multiple versions of "X-Men" history. When you first start dating, it's normal for him to only text when you're making plans together. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. The moment you hear from your ex, you probably wont know what your ex wants from you. A little bit of backstory, when I was younger I was in the Air Force and stationed at a Air base in another state. Dont let your ex pull the strings on you just for the sake of finding closure. 1. It can be confusing when your ex reaches out after years because you dont know what their motives are. Im not sure if Im doing the right thing. Do exes come back after leaving for someone else? Many a time, people end a relationship in haste without thinking it through. 7 Common Reasons An Ex Tries To Get Back In Your Life They will be able to compare the different aspects of their life with and without your presence in it. Exes reach out for a lot of reasons, and wanting a relationship again might be one of them. I did some things in that relationship that were unkind, and I know I hurt him badly. I tried so much to get her to stay but ended up hurting myself really badly in the process as she was my first so I really wanted it to work. I got a message on Linkedin today andI'm so confused (the message said I came up in their feed I don't even know how that's possible we live in opposite side of the world, work in different industries and don't share contacts)? . After 6 months of balance to initiation of conversation, she stopped getting in touch. AW, has an ex ever reached out to you years later? How did it - Reddit After reading his message im not sure if I should reply. So, you spent three sleepless nights wondering about their true intention behind a simple Hi. Say, you have been applying the no-contact rule after the breakup, be it a mutual decision or one-sided. He had no intention of getting back with you romantically. Decide whether to reach out to an ex or maintain distance based on They're angry with you. If you still have feelings for your ex, that doesnt mean you should talk to your ex and get your hopes up. I don't want to cause problems between him and his gf/wife. So first things first, discern what your ex wants from you and secondly, what you can gain from your ex. ). And if everything else fails, go with your gut feeling when an ex contacts you suddenly. reg-o-matic 5 yr. ago After close to 20 years, my ex wife reached out to apologize. I stopped going to the club in case they came again. Theres also a chance that your partner has asked what youd do if your ex resurfaced. As mentioned, they may just be contacting you to see how you are. If you have a partner, think of them as well. As if you both needed a reason to get even more heavily chemically attached to each other. As you say, it was likely just an attempt to ease her guilt. Is there any ulterior motive? Definitely not. The relationship might not be the most exciting in the world, but after several fiery encounters with people who dont accept them for who they are, they realize theyd rather be with someone they can be themselves around. ), I reached out 1-2 weeks ago (2-years later), got no response. Perhaps they have even started dating soon after the breakup. They bounce from relationship to relationship and leave when they can no longer ignore their significant others flaws. If you were dumped and forced to go no contact with your ex, asking your ex this question is perfectly fine. Turns out, we have thought about each other since and by the time she realised, was too late as I had married the next women I went out with. You might know this from what you have heard from your mutual friends. Maybe you thought youve made your peace with whatever happened with your ex. Its been several years since you broke up with your ex, and theyve assumed youve got over what happened. My ex messaged me after a year. Personally I've never reached out to an ex - but my abusive ex of 5 years reached out to me. Additionally, if youre getting back with your ex because youre lonely, that may not be a good idea either. Takeaway When you receive a text or call from an ex years after the breakup, the very first thing you must do is learn why your ex reached out to you. I am still not sure if its a good idea. When your ex finally does that, youll quickly regain your power and be able to say how you want things to go. Theres a chance she wants you back, but be careful about that. Commentdocument.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a2a4ca169ddda5052d135fd7416bc0e6" );document.getElementById("i2dc42b6e0").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Alexander Burgemeester has a Master in Neuropsychology. They're Looking For An Ego Boost Unfortunately, the knowledge that you're there still pining away for them (whether your are or not) can be just the springboard that they need to feel good about themselves. Your heart might start beating faster the moment you get a text from the ex but take a few minutes to think about the consequences if you end up meeting the ex again. I assumed she didnt want to contact me and vice-versa. Besides, you have no way of knowing whether your ex will be forthcoming and candid in their response. But they didnt click with anyone. After the X Date, the Treasury would be unable to pay about 40% of its bills, BPC said, based on an analysis of daily cash flows. He was understanding and glad to know I am happy. Now that theyre dealing with issues concerning the things only you know about, theyve got no one else to turn to. In fairness, you were in your teens when you got together, and they were clueless about relationships. What does it mean when an ex contacts you years later? The important thing to remember is to be honest. Jaseena tells us how to put a lid on overthinking. Apparently he had heard a rumor that I had found out I was pregnant after we broke up and had aborted the baby. Invite them to join you for a drink to catch up, or suggest the two of you grab a coffee sometimes. I could tell knowing the truth was a huge weight off his mind. She said marriage is hard, so its possible she finally reflected and realized she was very mean to you after the breakup. She said, Wow, instant reply. When you get a text from an ex, all youre probably thinking about is what they want. We dated about 8 years ago and he reached out around the 5 year mark. (I mean, obviously, right?) Her requirements werent clear and she wanted me to make suggestions about what to do, but her first question was: I dont know if you want us to go back to before, where we are living in separate places?. This is particularly common with exes who feel stifled in the relationship, and as though they were missing out on something else by being with you. I saw them looking around. What if the ex just wants to hook up and would want to do it with someone familiar rather than a stranger? The best way to get to the bottom of this is to ask your ex some questions back. She has grown up and matured a lot in this time, as have I. You are following it religiously cutting off all contact with your ex. For context: I broke up with my 1st boyfriend who I dated for 5 years about 10 years ago. "What really frightens and dismays us is not external events themselves, but the . However to say a rocky marriage would be an understatement. (ETA: Not in an obsessive "someday-we'll-be-together-again" way, lol. She even made accusations towards me after the first month of our no contact to add salt to the wounds. I felt that she was just trying to ease her guilt rather than anything else, and it wasnt my job to do that. Why Are My Exs Friends Contacting Me And Being So Nice To Me? Learn how your comment data is processed. Listen, the messages are very casual and kind of nice but I really don't feel like I have anything in common with this person, it would never occur to me to message him. It makes them feel so inadequate, they want to see if they can disrupt it. Such dumpers often get nostalgic, hurt, and depressed so they contact an ex they used to be close to and come running back faster than greased lightning. And some friendships just arent built to handle the transitions and changes that we go through in life as we grow and develop. I think that she would really appreciate hearing that and she deserves it. Its . If youre feeling a bit confused and overwhelmed by your ex contacting you, speak to a trusted friend or family member. If your ex talks nicely to you for a little while and then doesnt talk to you for weeks, that could mean that your ex got what he or she was after. Years after that, I was going to be back in our old area again. In todays article, well discuss why an ex would contact you years after the breakup and how to respond to specific reach outs. Acknowledge it. Your obligation toward your ex has ended, and it is alright to think of yourself first. Dont make up stories when your partner asks you, Why would an ex contact you years later? Be honest and tell them the truth about what your ex has texted you. Bye." Chapter closed. Always so grateful. They may sincerely hope to reconnect with you and get back together even though it might not look like that on the surface. I told him I am married now. I'd be more likely to reach out to his wife and apologize for not seeing sooner how hurt she was, and that I was being selfish (I was, entirely). If you dont want to reply, you dont have to and you frankly shouldnt. If your ex is single and all their friends are dating, they may go through periods of loneliness where they desperately need to speak to someone. That usually means theyve contacted you for some companionship and not for anything serious. Its not one-sided either, they both feel the same way. These tests include a non-stress test and biophysical profile (ultrasound). My Ex Contacted Me After 5 Years. What Should I Do? HD01;:, Siddartha (Dhritiman Chatterjee) is forced to discontinue his medical studies due to unexpected and brutal death of his father. Is there space for them if youre planning on letting your ex back into your life?